1 I was a muse for some of the most popular bands of all time. Although I was never mentioned in the sleeve notes, I have appeared in several pieces of album art:
2 I’m a trained assassin. But because of my oath of professionalism I’m not allowed to talk about my successes only my failures.
Assassination of Hitler
Assassination of Judas
Assassination of Bono
There’s still time Bono.
3 as you can tell from the list of marks (see it must be true I have all of the lingo down) I am incredibly old. Here’s what I’d look like if I didn’t shave at least once a century.
4 Because I’ve been alive so long and I’ve accumulated so much knowledge I have to use multiple brains. Here’s a picture of my collection
5 see how one of the brains has a distinctive veil drawn over it? Well that’s the brain we don’t like to talk about. It was damaged in a bizarre gardening accident. And so we usually draw a distinct veil over it (although to be honest it often wears a Burka and forces us to refer to it as Jennifer).
Anyway here is a photo story of how the brain got damaged, “Damn you Bono!”
Sometimes I have recurring nightmares about that. Yeah I feel I’m stuck in a moment I can’t get out of.
You may, if you’re lucky, get some real 5 things at some point soon.