Category Archives: Jokes

A woman goes into a bar…

…and asks the bartender for a double-entendre.

So the barman gives her one.


After remembering this I thought, “they say innuendo is hard to come by”.

Why couldn’t the pirate play cards?

Because he was sitting on the deck.

A man goes into a doctors surgery

The doctor says to him, “well I’m afraid you’re going to have to stop masturbating”.

“Why?” asks the shocked man, “what’s wrong Doc?”

“Well, for a start, you’re in a doctors surgery.”

A man runs over a cat.

The cat’s address is on its collar, so the man goes to apologize to the owner. He knocks on the door, and a little of lady answers. The man says, “I’m so sorry, I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?”

“I don’t know,” replies the lady, “How are you at catching mice?”

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door

He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.. Three years later, there’s a knock at the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, “What the hell was that all about”?

A couple are lying in bed

The man says, “I’m going to make you the happiest woman alive.”

The woman replies, “I’ll miss you.”

Why did the skeleton burp?

Because he didn’t have the guts to fart.

A man walks into a doctors office

And he says to the doctor, “Doc, I hurt all over.”

He touches his leg, and he winces.

He touches his face, and he winces.

He touches his stomach, and he winces.

The doctor says, “you’ve got a broken finger”.