Category Archives: Illustrated

New Lily Allen Album

As you may know lil’ Lily Allen has cancelled the rest of her tour of America to get back in the studio and record her new album. You know you’ve really made it when the Evening Standard puts out a billboard in your honour. But clever Lily has chosen a subject close to the London paper’s heart for her follow up.

Here it is:

It features such tracks as:

Yearning for 6 X earnings
My fake rate mate
Love in a sub let apartment

and the #1 smash single, Breaking your contract

Buy it now.

Great photos

Katherine has a great eye, for photos, she actually only has one eye that properly works but that’s by the by I suppose in this situation. This photo that was taken in Verona has inspired at least one person to join Flickr is an example of exactly the kind of thing that she notices that others don’t. Enjoy:

And go and see them all: Kat’s Flickr page.

Thames the breaks

M’learned colleague Adrian has written in his post, Cometh The Hour, about how the clocks going back have forced him to travel to work in the dark and miss out on the sunrise over the Thames. The one hour difference in time, neatly matches the one hour difference in arrival times at work (I start work approximately one hour after him, and finish work about one hour after he finishes). This has meant I have been able to steal his sunrise. Mwahahaha!

On a more general note, I really like this detail from within the above picture, I wonder why that other ship was there?

Me at Aldos

I look pretty sated. If you want the same experience please visit the forever wonderful Aldos restaurant at 220 York Road, SW11 3SD (10 minutes from Clapham Junction). There isn’t a London Eating page for it, and you have to be the restaurant owner to add one. I’ll have to go back and convince Aldo to get himself some advertising I think. I’ve been more than 100 times probably so I feel I can safely recommend it.

Setting the scene

I had some friends over for the beginning of the Formula 1 season. We were going to have to stay up all night as the race is in Australia. And we all pretty much made it through except Rod.

Stew handily brought a great Formula 1 flag which set the scene rather nicely.

You can just make out Rod’s knee and beer in the bottom corner of the shot.

A great fun evening that we all enjoyed. For the love of the sport but mainly to be amongst friends. Fantastic!

Gerbil’s toupee

It’s very sad for poor old Nicholas Owen:

He was once, as he is now, a popular television newsreader. But was it ever thus?


While in Croydon recently Katherine and I overheard the announcer on the tram service and noted at length that it sounded uncannily like Nicholas Owen’s canned voice.

Almost instantly Katherine asked what his voice was doing in such a low rent establishment.

And actually instantly I came upon the most telling realisation of perhaps, but not actually, my whole lifetime: He’s clearly been arrested in the illegal and frankly unhealthy trade of Gerbils for toupees and then forced as part of his probation to read out the tram announcements. I know – it seems so obvious now I’ve said it. But why do these, frankly, criminals continue in their trade?

Because Gerbils wear some of the finest toupees known to man. Hit it:

friend of dromedaries

On the train the other night I heard two people chatting and I couldn’t help but earwig. The conversation was tumbling along until one of them said, “yeah but he’s a friend of dromedaries” except he didn’t obviously, he obviously said, “he’s a friend of Dorothy’s”. He was calling someone gay and using a particularly antiquated way of doing it. It’s a phrase that’s fallen out of favour somewhat mainly because it sounds quite gay to say it I imagine. At any rate now we can bring it bang up to date with my new misheard version. Now I’m not homophobic, I can’t understand why anyone’s afraid of their own house, so I will pose for the requisite picture.

But what would the lesbian version be? Clearly it would have to be, “loving the llama”.

As well as accusations of baldness and drug taking there have been repeated rumours that of late Britney has been loving the llama.