Gerbil’s toupee

It’s very sad for poor old Nicholas Owen:

He was once, as he is now, a popular television newsreader. But was it ever thus?


While in Croydon recently Katherine and I overheard the announcer on the tram service and noted at length that it sounded uncannily like Nicholas Owen’s canned voice.

Almost instantly Katherine asked what his voice was doing in such a low rent establishment.

And actually instantly I came upon the most telling realisation of perhaps, but not actually, my whole lifetime: He’s clearly been arrested in the illegal and frankly unhealthy trade of Gerbils for toupees and then forced as part of his probation to read out the tram announcements. I know – it seems so obvious now I’ve said it. But why do these, frankly, criminals continue in their trade?

Because Gerbils wear some of the finest toupees known to man. Hit it:

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