I was at a bar not that long ago and I decided, in the term of one of my less couth* friends, to syphon the python.
The toilet, as I believe the title of this post**** may have given away, had three urinals in it. But it was the configuration of them that was most interesting to me.
First, you must know that there was only one cubicle in the room.
Second, you should know that if one were to stand in front of the first urinal, one would block the entrance to the cubicle. So that urinal was out. As was the cubicle.
The middle urinal was out because it was the middle urinal. That is the law, passed down from ancient times. ‘No man shall stand at the middle urinal if all urinals are available.’
Last, but not least, the last urinal was wedged in behind the sink so that if you wanted to use it, you had to stand with your backside wedged against the taps.
So my question is this – what would you have done?
* You can be ‘uncouth’, but ‘couth’ itself – what is that?**
** This and other opposite words that don’t exist are discussed in my new book “things that should be true but are the opposite of true”.***
*** Since the publication of my book, the word “false” has been brought to my attention. This alters almost nothing.
**** “It is quite a three pipe problem, and I beg that you won’t speak to me for fifty minutes.” – The Red Headed League*****
***** “I do not take 50 minutes to go to the toilet. That is not what I am implying.