Arrrrrrgh 2D2
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Not Personal, Not Impersonal
Monthly Archives: April 2007
The hair
He walked in, swaying slightly, he was late. He had said he would be, he always was but he always said. That was something she supposed. At least he always said. He walked across the bedroom and kissed her on the cheek. She stirred and turned to look at him. She hadn’t been asleep quite, but she had been dozing. She opened her eyes and that’s when she saw it. A single long golden hair on his jacket.
Of course it didn’t mean anything. Nothing concrete. It was just a hair. It could have been from anywhere. But it was then. It was in that moment that she knew he had been cheating on her. That he had been doing it for years. All of those meetings, what were they for, how could they all be work related? Now she knew that they weren’t that they were simply a cover. He had been having affairs for years. Maybe just one, one affair that had been going on all of this time. No. That would be worse!
She asked, “Had a good evening?”
He answers, “Boring, like usual. You?”
“Yes,” she answers, “pretty boring, like usual.”
“I’m sorry,” he says, “can’t be fun stuck in evening after evening while I’m at work. Maybe you should get a hobby.”
And it was at that moment that she decided to cheat on him. Maybe it was over between them. It probably was, she thought. But before it was officially over she knew she wanted to have some illicit fun.”
Thames the breaks
M’learned colleague Adrian has written in his post, Cometh The Hour, about how the clocks going back have forced him to travel to work in the dark and miss out on the sunrise over the Thames. The one hour difference in time, neatly matches the one hour difference in arrival times at work (I start work approximately one hour after him, and finish work about one hour after he finishes). This has meant I have been able to steal his sunrise. Mwahahaha!
On a more general note, I really like this detail from within the above picture, I wonder why that other ship was there?
Overheard on the Train
You totally shouldn’t. Boys have such double standards. You just can’t. I mean one of my friends was talking to one of them and she’s already in a relationship so she just didn’t see her as a threat. And he was saying that basically girls split into girlfriend wives as like one group and sort of good time girls as the other. And they decide so quick you know. She was saying that if they, sleep with them on the first night then they’re like a good time girl and so totally not a girlfriend wife. So what are you going to tell him. Good because I think you’re making the right choice because that will make you seem more girlfriend wife. You want him to be reassured like that. I mean you don’t want his mind going like totally there immediately, you know, like you won’t be any fun or something. But you want to have him reassured by it, you know. Where are you meeting him? Oooh it can be hard to say no at his place. And it also means no kiss. No, yeah, no kiss. Because if you kiss you kiss on the couch at his place it’ll all go off and that might be fun but no girlfriend wife. So change the venue make it somewhere you can kiss at the end. Keeps it fun but not too fun. But yeah, I mean I think you should go out with him. I mean you know I don’t like him, but do you need the practice.
Pirates! – The Bunby Bungle – Part 4
[This is Part 4 of 4 in Pirates!: The Bunby Bungle. If you’re interested then please read Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3 first.]
As Marshall walked back downstairs he found it hard to keep his legs even close together. He’d been given a workout. He was 60 for christsakes, not a good time to discover the wonders of the foursome. He just wished he’d been able to afford the foursome when he was twenty years younger. Although then he hadn’t had to pay for exciting sex.
This was the second time he’d though of Margaret tonight. She would understand. She always had. When they made love it was very different than the sex he had had tonight. Making love was making love a very different thing.
He walked back into the bar, and he turned the stairs. There was nobody behind the bar at this point which was exactly what Marshall had been expecting. He walked back there and poured himself a drink. He left the now open bottle on the counter as an alibi in case he was caught. And then with a simple and practiced motion he opened the till and emptied it into a bag he’d been carrying in his pocket. There was a safe. He knew the combination by now and he opened that as well. Tight little bundles of money lying in the safe, he picked them up and put them inside his coat lining. He now had it all.
He exited the bar, walked round the corner, shouted at Bunby, “How’s it going fella!”
The only problem, Marshall realised later, was that he had thought Bunby must be somebody who needed the wool pulling over his eyes. Whereas Bunby had completely separately and independently been thinking of taking Tawnies. So out of his overcoat he pulled a shotgun, pointed it at the ceiling and yelled, “I’m going to fuckin’ rob you.”
This Marshall thought was a shame. But there was only one way out. And instead of the quiet exit he had planned it was time to make the situation abundantly clear.
And with this thought, Marshall pulled out a gun of his own and fired it at Bunby killing him dead. Luckily people were quickly convinced Marshall was a hero and he was allowed to walk off of the crime scene before the police arrived and noticed that the bar didn’t have any money in it just one day shy of a month of running the most successful gambling den on the islands.
A man sees a farmer walking a pig
And notices that the animal has a wooden leg. Curious, he asks the farmer how the pig lost its limb. “Well,” says the farmer, “one night the wife and me were asleep when the pig spotted the house was on fire. It broke down the door, ran up the stairs and dragged me to safety. Then it went back in and carried out my wife. Then it went in a third time and rescued my four children. We’d all be dead if it weren’t for this pig.”
“So did the pig get its leg burned in the fire?” asks the man.
“Oh, no,” says the farmer. “But when you’ve got a pig like this, you don’t eat it all at once.”
Why is it important?
Sometimes you see something that really changes your outlook. So be careful here because this video that I’m linking you to should hopefully change yours. Most people have a view of the world which is them and us. We live in the West, they live in the third world. But that is an outmoded view. This video is 20 minutes long, but it is fascinating. One of the most interesting things about it is how this guy uses data. He has sourced the data from publicly accessible sites and animated it. You can watch how China is catching up with America over time for example. The great thing is the way that the presenter commentates like a sportscaster as things are happening and yet is so human and feeling in his approach to the reality of the situations. Truly brilliant, and as he suggests if the data is freed then people might start to understand the realities.
His groups website, named after the London Underground phase “Mind the Gap” is here, and allows you to freely play with the data: GapMinder.org
Spring
The thing about spring,
is not the birds that sing,
or the cows moo-ing,
or the rappers with their bling,
no it’s the warmth that makes the ladies show their skin, that’s the thing.
Ahem. But of course I mean that with total equal rights being considered. Men may also wear less clothes if they so wish. And it should be that the women are choosing for themselves to wear fewer items (or less sizable coverings) out of their own free choice* because say it is warm rather than because some man made them do it – bastard.
* Not that any one, man or woman, really has any free will in all likelihood.
Me at Aldos
I look pretty sated. If you want the same experience please visit the forever wonderful Aldos restaurant at 220 York Road, SW11 3SD (10 minutes from Clapham Junction). There isn’t a London Eating page for it, and you have to be the restaurant owner to add one. I’ll have to go back and convince Aldo to get himself some advertising I think. I’ve been more than 100 times probably so I feel I can safely recommend it.
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