InVesting in the future

What ever happened to vests eh? They used to be all the rage in the olden days. I remember as a child being checked by my aunt to see if I was wearing a vest. And if I wasn’t she’d say I was going to “catch a death of chill”.

Obviously this was crazy talk. But I think she was simply harking back to the golden era when men were really cold and women stayed indoors because they were sensible.

Now some people will say that it is the rise of central heating that’s caused this but I say no. It can’t be, because there is no central heating outside. I think it is the clearest sign of global warming.

Now some people don’t think that clothes can be affected by your environment. Some people seem to think that there wouldn’t be a corolation between temperature and clothing. But to those people I say, “Remember the lessons of the Global Colour shirt”.

The global colour shirt was one of the foremost advances in technology the world has ever seen. A shirt that changes colour with your temperature. But like concord another advance of mankind consigned to the scrapheap the Global Colour shirt has withered on the altar of progress. And why was that? Could it be that the name is no coincidence? That the global in global colour is related to global warming. I think it might be.

So what can we do about global warming? Well I think it’s time to install air conditioning. Clearly now it’s the only way forward. Turn your air con up to full, put a vest on, and set fire to all of those global colour shirts. It’s the way forward. And it’s what concord would have wanted.

2 thoughts on “InVesting in the future

  1. Nick Ollivère says:

    I’ve never worn a vest. Never. Was it your Russian or English/Scottish grandmother that made sure you were wearing one? I think it was just a peculiar country’s peculiar tradition that has just died out. Sometimes I wear two t-shirts. Most people, I believe, wear thick sweaters – an American import. (Although you may have been making this all up, and so might I. I’m not sure what day of the week it is.)Incidentally, water will flow clockwise in the southern and anti-clockwise in the northern hemisphere – on a very, very large and slow scale, but certainly not in a toilet or sink. This is due to the Coriolis acceleration.

  2. Alex Andronov says:

    I think the rule is if it says “Truth” on the label then its almost certainly a lie.This was true (except for the silly bit near the end) about the t-shirts causing global warming and installing air con.Anyway, it was my English Aunt who is married to the Russian side of the family. So I don’t know where it comes from exactly. Other than the fact that she is still to this day always cold even in the height of summer.

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