Since September 2003 (when this blog started) I have been campaigning for a change in the calendar. I’ve written about it a few times:
Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday,
Britney, Beyonce, Christina? Madonna! ,
Madonna! Pope Eugenius III. and It’s going well your Popeishness.).
But now the situation has come to a head. Another new year, and still no new calendar. But then it suddenly hit me, the old Pope was against the calendar but since those dim and dark days we’ve only gone and got ourselves a new Pope.
What? A new calendar I hear you ask? What manner of crazy is this? Well let me explain.
Very simply I don’t like the way that the months have a random number of days in them. And also I don’t like the way that all of the days move around and it’s complicated to work out what day something’s going to happen.
The solution is simple. We just need one more month. If we had 13 months then every month could have 28 days in it. This would give us almost the requisite number of days (364) and solve most of the problems.
The other thing which is good about 28 days is that 28 is divisible by 7 which means that every month would have 4 weeks in it. And every month could start with a Monday and end with a Sunday. So then you’d always be able to tell really easily what day of the month it was going to be. So say somebody said something was going to happen on the 15th you’d know quick as you like that that must be a Monday.
But hold on I hear you cry, what about the fact that the year has 365.25 days in it?
Ah yes! Well. The simplest way to deal with this is to have the 13th month have 29 days in it. And have whichever month we choose (say we stick with February) have 29 days in it as well on the occasions of leap years?
But hold on I hear you cry (you’ve been doing a lot of that lately and it is not becoming) if there are 29 day months then what will happen about the days of the week staying in order.
Well the simple* answer is that these extra days, “New Year’s Eve” and “Leap Day” will not be days of the week. So you won’t be able to say, “what day’s New Year’s Eve?” because it won’t be on a day. The week it happened would go, “Friday, Saturday, Sunday, New Years Eve, Monday, Tuesday” etc. Monday would be “New Years Day” but it would be “New Years Day” and “Monday” at the same time like now where as “New Years Eve” would be just “New Years Eve”.
So anyway that’s my plan, and the old Pope never really went for it. But I think with this new German pope he might be in for a much more efficient system like this one. Anyway Happy New Year. At least with New Year people are celebrating the right thing rather than at Christmas where everyone gets a bit confused.
*Okay it might not be that simple.