This post requires some pretty heavy duty swearing so if you have problems with that then you shouldn’t keep reading. Here’s a post that you can read today if you don’t like swearing (you can read it if you like swearing and then go on to the one about swearing of course).
There seems to be a lot of diving in football. So wouldn’t it be good if you added a five minute penalty for diving. It would work like this if you stay on the ground for more than five seconds after you fall on the ground then you must go off of the pitch for five minutes.
You can stand back up and complain but if you lie on the ground then you’ll have to leave the pitch for five minutes. I think that’s the only solution to stop diving. Go on then? What’s wrong with it?
I’m going to give us all some space to just get used to the idea that there is going to be some heavy duty swearing now.
And now we have had some space lets get on with it.
I was in a pub watching the England football game on Sunday. It was a quite big match apparently. I don’t tend to watch football, but I had been walking home when I bumped into my brother. He was on his way into a pub to watch the second half of the game (he does watch football but he’d been caught on a train which meant that he’d missed the first half). So on we went to the pub to watch the second half of the game.
The pub wasn’t the kind of pub that I usually go to. It is usually a pretty rough pub, and then when you throw in a large number of drunk shouty men then it gets even less of a nice pub.
One of the England players during the game made a slight mistake and one of the shouty men in the pub shouted out, “Fucking Yankie Cunt”.
Now I don’t know much about football but I know enough to know that there is a player on the England team (Owen Hargreaves) who has been getting some stick because he was born in Canada. The thing with what he’d shouted out was that he’d obviously gone for “Yankie” because he didn’t know what the derogative phrase for a Canadian was (it’s Canuck by the way). But even so, even if he didn’t know about the derogatory word for Canadian surely he should have gone for, “Fucking Canadian Cunt”. That works much better. Obviously had he known it, “Fucking Canuk Cunt” would work well too. But even though I knew enough about football to be able to correct him, I also knew enough about the situation that I was in to know that if I corrected him, he would have corrected me with his fist.