It is a truth universally acknowledged that a girl in possession of a boyfriend must want to be thinner than he is so said a good friend of mine – approximately – the other day. Her current boyfriend had, for a time, been thinner than she was which was, she assured me, an unpleasant experience. For a start there was always the worry of secret cross dressing. Normally this is something that is very obvious. Any cross dressing that has gone on usually will distort the clothes.
Now at this point I would like to point out that cross dressing isn’t a bad thing. The only bad thing here is the secretive angle. And if they are thinner they have the opportunity. But I digress this wasn’t the original point. And neither is the fact that I have seen the boyfriend in question wearing a ball gown.
The main issue, I guess, I some of self esteem. And here I think there is a bit of a gender divide. And now for the next couple of paragraphs I’m going to generalise and some of this isn’t going to apply to everybody. Just don’t kill me if it doesn’t apply to you – I know it doesn’t I’m talking about the other people.
Why do people look good? Why do people dress up when they go out? Some people will suggest that it’s all about sex. And perhaps that’s a big part of it but I don’t think it’s everything. There are at least two other things going on. People are thinking about themselves. there is certainly a lot of self-image development being dealt with. In the way that the clothes we wear say a lot about ourselves not just who we want to have sex with but also who we think we are. The other aspect is that of how we think what we are wearing shows us against our peer group. Do we want o blend in and disappear or do we want to appear completely different?
All of the different things are factors and so it’s a combination that’s going on. And I think and here comes the generalisation, that women tend more to dress for themselves and their peer group then for sex. I’m not talking about all the time just in general. When out on a date or in search of a date obviously the balance changes.
Now men, in general, I think dress almost exclusive for their peer group. Except when they are looking for a date.
And pretty much the moment they convince somebody to go out with them they go back to regular clothes mode.
And of course I’m not just talking about clothes I’m also talking about general cleanliness, amount of pleasant smells applied, fitness and so on. In general it seems single men and women in search of a partner are fit, smell nice and are wearing nice clothes. Women in relationship stay the same. Men revert to slob status.
How this is related to how this article started I’m not exactly sure. But there, as they say, you go. But I do know one thing, Grayson Perry, the man who won the prestigious Turner art prise this year wore a dress to the awards ceremony. His wife was quoted in the paper the next day saying that she didn’t ever mind going out with him dressed that way because it always made her look good by comparison.