I came out with dinner = washing – drying.

I hate doing the washing up. But at the same time, rather paradoxically, I hate not having done the washing up.

Now don’t get me wrong. There is a perfect solution to this. To either get somebody else to do the washing up, or get a dishwasher. Although if the other person who was doing your washing up was in your employ they, of course, would be a dishwasher.

The worst part is all of that stuff that is sitting there after a less than satisfactory meal. After a really nice meal you can, of course, just sit back and relax.

But after a meal that has been, shall we say, less than great it is suddenly very obvious that there is a horrible mess in the kitchen and while it might not be causing too many problems right now you are aware rather suddenly that if you leave it then tomorrow it will be particularly horrible ot face. And tomorrow you’ll probably be thinking about other things as you rush out of the door in the morning.

And then it’s tomorrow evening. Time for dinner again. You walk into the kitchen and the thing that crosses your mind is a simple question: “Is there a way to use the content of the fridge and the clean pans, cutlery and bowls/plates to create a meal?” And then while you’re thinking about all this you remember that you don’t want to live like a slob so you go and wash the dishes.

It’s very upsetting, and I’m afraid that in these modern days it’s no longer acceptable to guilt other people into doing the washing up.

It used to be possible to get somebody to do the washing up and drying (not “washing and wiping” please) in exchange for having cooked them dinner. But now it seems the international standard is closer to dinner + drying = washing up.

I was talking to a friend about this the other day and they agreed with me that the new standard was common practice. So then I tried to re-arrange the equation on the paper napkins they had kindly provided. I came out with dinner = washing – drying.

I tried therefore to claim that they could then wash and simply rinse at the end twice (getting rid of the suds is very very important) and that would be that. But they argued that rinsing wasn’t the opposite of drying and I shouldn’t try and wriggle out these things.

So clearly there is only one answer left for me. I need to get a dishwasher. Or of course stop being so lazy. Well I’ll try the latter for a bit.

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