gamboling.co.uk

Popular musician and social commentator Sir Mix-A-Lot*, likes rotund posteriors and he is clinically unable to deny said facts. In fact when pushed on the issue, he will happy sing you a song on the subject.

And who am I to comment on the peccadillos of another? He’s free to like them and ignore, as I believe he refers to them, iddie-bittie things. The only problem is with the phrase, “having junk in your trunk”.

First I would like to say, on the record, that I am very happy for popular slang to reverse the usual sentiment of a phrase. To turn the negative sounding reality of having a large quantity of brick-a-brac in your boot, into a positive sentiment is one that I am down with. Wickid.

The problem comes, for me, in the confusion of the word trunk. We already have trunks on mammals. They are the noses of elephants. Now, admittedly, this is because elephants’ noses look not unlike tree trunks, but that’s how the 20th century turned out. No point in complaining about it now.

But because elephants have trunks where they could have noses, people have had their noses referred to as trunks. Having junk in your trunk should really refer to having a bad cold. That’s just the way I see it. Fo sho.

*I have, as yet, been unable to determine the year that Sir Mix was knighted for services to music. I am certain that this is due, simply, to poor record keeping at central office.