Sweet shop

A few years back, I had an idea for a new kind of old shop. Everyone harks back to the idea of an old fashioned sweet shop, don’t they? They want to see the jars of sweets piled high to the ceiling and some benevolent old man weighing out sweets with enormous scales. Cola bottles, gobstoppers, white mice, those white chocolate buttons with hundreds and thousands on them.

The problem with these kinds of shops is that they can’t work for us anymore as adults. As adults… we are too tall. We are the same height as the people running the shop. We can see over the counter, we can reach the jars at the top.

So the answer is pretty obvious to me. What we need to do is build a really big shop. The counter for the shop should be 6 feet high. Giant animatronic puppets should work behind the counter, weighing things. Puppeteers would have plenty of room to hide behind the counter.

The ceilings would have to be really tall and then up at the top you would employ dwarfs to climb around taking things off of the shelf to make it seem even further away than it is.

It would be a totally odd operation, obviously. But if you sold every kind of sweet and you had the shop in central London – Covent Garden suggests itself to me – then you could make it a tourist destination. Probably best to get the Tussauds group involved to have a steady supply of actors and so on from places like the London Dungeon and have a bit of cross promotion.

People would go into the shop just to have the experience of going to the shop. “When in London,” people would say to each other, “you have to visit this crazy sweet shop”.

The only problem is that I don’t have a name for the shop. What do you think? Something old-fashioned sounding would be ideal.

8 thoughts on “Sweet shop

  1. fourstar says:

    This immediately made me think of Roald Dahl’s “BFG”. Perhaps that could be some kind of tie-in?

  2. Jackie says:

    You know I could just see that happening .. and who wouldn’t want to be kid again for the day. Mmmm pineapple cubes!As for a name, how about “Truly Scrumptious” like the character from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

  3. Alex Andronov says:

    @FourstarAh yes maybe because the BFG has very long spindly arms?

  4. Alex Andronov says:

    I like “Truly Scrumptious” 🙂

  5. Igor says:

    I like ‘The Big Sweet Shop’, not so obvious for the Americans… ‘The Big Candy Store’ for them; but we are talking about Covent Garden.

  6. Alex Andronov says:

    @IgorThere is a problem with them having different names for things. But that would add to the charm of it I would guess?

  7. Joe says:

    Sugar High… although that sounds like it might star Zac Efron.How about I Want Candy?Or Sweet Surrender?

  8. Nick Ollivère says:

    McGreedy's.No? Ok. I went into a butcher and said I bet you can't reach those pieces of meat up there. The butcher said he couldn't take that bet. I asked him why not. He replied 'because the steaks are too high'.(C) Tim Vine.

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