Katherine called out to give me an update on matters of laundry, “you have a hole in your shirt”.
“Oh dear, that’s a shame,” I answered, “I’ll have to buy a new one.”
This, I knew was the nice safe answer. The answer that would steer me out of danger. It wasn’t the answer I was thinking of though. I really wanted to say, “that’s good, otherwise I’d never be able to put it on”. But I guessed, rightly I’m sure, that this wouldn’t be what she wanted to hear.
Of course this got me thinking, just how many holes do I have in my shirt?
Well when it’s buttoned there is the one for my neck and the one for my torso. There are the two for my arms and there are the two for the cufflinks I’m not wearing (this shirt has buttons and cufflink holes). There are also the two holes that are there so that when you roll up your sleeves you have enough material to do so. These are the kind of slits (or darts if you prefer) that run down the last quarter of your sleeves on the inside. Also my top button is undone giving one extra hole (the buttonhole). And finally the shirt pocket hole. So done up my shirt has 10 holes.
What about undone?
Well, if I roll up my shirtsleeves I don’t actually change the number of holes as I gain two for the buttonholes and lose two for the slits as they are now subsumed into the sleeve holes.
On the front of my shirt I get two extra holes for the collar buttons and I lose two for opening the shirt. The head and torso hole disapear. But I do gain one hole per button. There are eight buttons on the front of my shirt but the top one was already open. So I add seven.
So when open my shirt has 17 holes! So what’s an extra hole here or there? I was obviously just trying to make it an even 18. I thought about mentioning this to Katherine but I decided this might cause more of my shirts to develop extra holes.
So, readers, how many holes do you have in your shirts?