The other morning I took a bagel out of the freezer to discover that it was broken into lots of small pieces. I was feeling a bit flush at that moment and so I decided to donate it to the needy. I toasted it up to defrost it, waited a day for the bread to go good and stale and then I put it out in the back garden for the birds.
Now while it was going stale, just for the day, I left it in the toaster. And on this day Kris came over. He was incredulous at my
actions. He wanted me to put the bread that was going stale on a plate. Why? I cannot say. (Perhaps he will in the comments?)
So at any rate* it was the day to feed the birds. I took the bagel out and scattered it about. And soon, after no time at all, nothing had happened. I turned away from the garden as though shunning a lover or baby marmot.
An hour or so later I looked back out of the window to discover a flock – yes despite their mixed breeds I’m willing to say they were a grouping of some kind. Perhaps, yes… I looked back to discover a melting pot of birds all pecking and flapping around in the back garden. There were pigeons and some other kinds of birds there too.
I gazed out over the throng and I saw that it was good. They seemed to be enjoying themselves enormously – even though I realised I was committing the anthropomorphic error.
Suddenly out of the corner of my garden I noticed the padding of a distinctly non-bird-like foot. It was a cat. It sauntered into view along the fence. A moment later it was joined by another. They were both observing the birds going about their business with a certain disdain. I got ready to open the window and shout. And then I saw something that steeled my resolve. A fox, as
bold as brass, in the middle of the day. I opened the window and shouted out, “it’s a trap”. They all survived.
* More specifically at the rate of one day**
** 24 hours ***
*** I could go on. I hope you get the picture. ****