My good friend Larry and I were talking the other day and he was relating the story of how he had met his wife. Larry and his wife had been working together when they had fallen in love. They had decided to keep their relationship secret because it might have caused problems at work. They kept it so secret that they didn’t even tell their closest work colleagues.
At the time there was a guy that Larry had lunch with almost every day. They were very close colleagues who got on very well. But even so Larry didn’t tell him that he was seeing this woman. Then one day at a party this guy introduced Larry to somebody, the somebody that he was already living with. They had kept their relationship so secret that nobody knew. Once they moved in with each other it wasn’t such an issue telling people but Larry had never really worked out a way of telling this guy, because he had kept it from him all of this time and they were supposed to be such good friends. But right then at this party the guy found out, and since then Larry and the guy never really spoke, such was the betrayal this guy felt.
I told him that I had the opposite story. When Adrian first came to work with me we were so busy that we rarely ever got a chance to go out for lunch together – in fact it’s still pretty rare now. But one day Adrian said that we had to go out to lunch. We got to the place and sat down and Adrian told me that his wife was going to have a baby. He had, I think, only found out that day. And of course normally you don’t tell people for twelve weeks. He was bursting to tell somebody, but he said that he felt he could tell me because I didn’t really know him or any of his friends. It was quite an odd beginning to a friendship, but clearly quite a good one – we’ve been friends ever since.