There is a train station in south London called Smitham and the odd thing is that Smitham doesn’t exist. Smitham is effectively North Coulsdon. The entire hamlet of Smitham seems to have been destroyed in the process of building the A23 and the train station. Imagine that planning meeting if you will:
Planner A: Hey there’s this small hamlet called Smitham that doesn’t have any access to transport.
Planner B: Yeah but it’s tiny they’ll just go to Coulsdon if they need to get anywhere.
Planner A: No, we must provide them with a busy transport link. That’s the only way they’ll ever progress.
Planner B: But there’s no space, nothing will fit.
Planner A: Well to develop a transport link sometimes you do have to knock down a few houses.
Planner B: But all of them? Surely that’s going a bit far.
Planner A: Do you hate progress.
Planner B: No.
Planner A: Well shut up and pass me the protractor.
So they destroyed the whole thing to build it, but then they left the station name the same. That’s what doesn’t quite make sense. It’s an odd solution. And now even that is under attack – from me.
I want to change the name of the station, purely for my own selfish reasons. Basically to make me laugh. I want the name of the station to become Andweep. Why? Well I’ll tell you why. The reason is that the station before it on the train line is called Reedham. And I want the announcer to have to say Reedham, Andweep. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I want it. And it turns out that it makes about as much sense as the current name anyway. So join me in the campaign to rename Smitham. Leave your votes in the comments.