Up in smoke

So from the 1st July there will be a smoking ban in public spaces in England which is going to be very good. I’m not a zealot when it comes to smoking but it can be quite annoying. Some of the best new restaurants around are pubs and you do have this weird mix situation where you’re trying to eat and other people are trying to smoke.

I would love to hope that this move will be the final catalyst for people to give up smoking but I’m not sure about that.

Most people start smoking at school and there you have to go and hide behind the bikesheds with your mates. These groupings become the cool gangs and to get in you have to smoke. Right from that young age smoking is cool. And what are we creating now? Well we are creating a situation where people will have to go outside and huddle together with other members of their smokers gang. Where they are all cool.

All of us non smokers will be sitting smugly inside thinking how wonderfully healthy we are. But somewhere, maybe deep inside, we’ll want to be part of that gang again. They’re all in it together all smokers of Britain have all suddenly become a single gang where they get to automatically start conversations with strangers and shrug off their British reserve.

Ah the coversations with strangers thing. That’s important. The most common pick up line has to be, “have you got a light”. And that has now been denied. Women often accuse men of being stupid but listen to this men are already preparing for the smoking ban. A survey has found that young british men aren’t wearing watches any more. The reason? So they can ask women the time. They can’t ask for a light anymore because being a smoker might be bad so now men can use their watchless status to attract women. This trick has only become available due to the mobile phone’s invention. Because if there are no attractive women around and you need to know the time you can just look at that.

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