Man ‘flu

A friend of mine was telling me the other day about his father who had had a massive heart attack but had driven himself to hospital because he had known that where he was he would have been taken to hospital in Lancashire and he “wasn’t going to bloody die there” so he drove himself to a hospital back in Yorkshire.

While he was relating the story, a woman friend of mine piped up suggesting that she thought that this was odd because normally men exaggerated their health issues. Suggesting that the concept of man ‘flu proved her point.

For those not in the know, man ‘flu is the idea that even if you get the slightest sniffle then you are suddenly having the worst possible illness that anyone has ever had in their lives.

The thing is that there does seem to be some confusion between the ‘flu thing and the whole heart attack story, and how men will often times completely deny the true pain that they are in just to save themselves from embarrassment. So which are we men or mice?

The truth seems to be mice. Men will happily inconvenience their spouse or partner by having the worst ever symptoms ever up until the exact moment that their partner suggests that they go to the doctor. The powerful urge not to inconvenience others in the British Male will mean that men will lie about the really bad things saying they don’t exist just so people don’t feel that they have to bother too much.

I know a guy who was so polite in this way that when the doctor asked him if his arm hurt, he said that it was just a bit stiff, when in fact he had shattered three bones. The brilliant thing about this kind of lie is that it means that you don’t make people pay attention to you and then later when people find out the truth (if your arm falls off or something) then people will probably call you, “incredibly brave”. Luckily most of the time you don’t have to endure the attention of people calling you “incredibly brave” because if you’re playing this right then the first symptom most people should notice of your illness is death.

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