Two phone or not two phone

I have two telephones for a variety of reasons. So when the other one rang on Saturday I knew it was important. Only a certain kind of person has that number and they are all under strict instructions not to phone me on the weekend unless it’s really important.

Truth be known I had felt bad having to reiterate the no weekend calling rules but Gordon is such a workaholic he often has no idea what time of the day or night it actually is let alone which day of the week. Add to that that David and he have only been given my number recently and then you’ve got trouble.

Tony was never as bad as these two even at the beginning. They both are desperate to win. My favorite caller is George W. He’s asked me for my number something like fifteen times and every time he thinks he looses it. The problem is he can’t ever remember my name. So the last time I met up with him I took his phone from him and put my number in for him. I made a little joke and said that he’d be able to find me now.

The truth was that I’d put my number in under the entry God. And so now from time to time I get agonized calls from him in the middle of the night. I tried to get some policy shifted initially but frankly he doesn’t remember half of anything I say and he of course isn’t really calling the shots. He’s started wetting the bed again so I try to be some comfort to him. It doesn’t do to kick a man when he’s down.

So who has access to my number? Most of the political leaders obviously. And some of the more likely candidates of the future. The Pope obviously, Bill Gates and Bono (if he leaves another musical voicemail that’s it I’m changing my number). The big corporate heads of course. And a few of the political operators but they know they aren’t supposed to call except in dire circumstances. Rove called during the Libby scandal which was fair enough. But lets just say that Mendelssohn is in Europe for a reason and that reason is waking me up at two in the morning to ask my opinion on a speech. “If the prime minister isn’t dead then you are”, I said to him.

But who was it on Saturday? Well blinking on the display was the word “Tone”. While I never permit myself to be that familiar with my subjects I couldn’t help but allow myself the little run every time I needed to “Ring Tone”. Terrible I know but it’s these small things that keep me amused while dealing with the demands of there incredibly powerful and insecure people.

I spoke briefly to Tony and it was obvious that I needed to go in. Sadly I cannot reveal my conversation with Tony until Wednesday (some things must remain secret even from you my dear readers), so I’m afraid you’ll have to tune back in then if you want to know more.

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