Bill is sick of being nagged

Bill, who’s sick of his nagging wife goes down to pub to meet with his mates for a couple of pints. After a while, one of his pals says, “What’s up Bill, – you look a bit down, mate”.

Bill explains that his wife has been giving him a real hard time lately – he hasn’t finished decorating the living room! When’s he going to get around to putting in the conservatory, decking and water feature as seen on TV? When’s he going to get up the guts to ask for a pay rise so that they can go on holiday? etc. etc. etc. Why, he said, if he knew who to ask he’d gladly pay to have her ‘disposed of’.

A bloke standing at the bar comes over and says – ‘scuse me mate – My name’s Artie – couldn’t help overhearing what you just said. You got a photo of the old bat by any chance?

Bill shows him a photo – who reacts – “Bloody hell mate – that’s one ugly woman. I’ll get rid of her for you for a quid!

Bill is so amazed that he hands over a quid and the photo just like that.

‘When and how will you do it?’ he asks Artie.
‘Tommorrow, when she goes into the supermarket.’

Sure enough, Bill goes to Tesco’s only to see Artie following his wife. In the Fruit & Veg section, Artie pounces and grabs Mrs Bill round the throat – only to be interrupted by a shelf stacker. Artie promptly throttles him. He catches up with Bill’s missus by the dairy produce and grabs her again by the throat. This time the Manager steps in. Artie throttles him too. He again catches up with the old bag and this time strangles her by the frozen foods and runs out of the supermarket.

The next day, in the local paper was the headline:

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