Well it works in my car.

The driver came out of his… Is it a cabin or a cockpit or what is it on a train? I think it’s almost certainly a cabin. But then when we’re on aeroplanes we don’t end up with the pilot sitting in the cockpit driving his aeroplane, and us all sitting in the cabin driving trains. I mean, for one, your incredibly unlikely to get them all to want ot go the same way. Everyone would be leaving Gatwick wanting the plane to fly over their house so they could take a picture out the window. And despite repeated requests, whenever there is turbulence on an aeroplane, the air hostess (or steward – why not air host?) has refused to tell me where the winder for the window is. I only need a little air and I’ll feel much better. Well it works in my car.

Have you ever stuck your head out of the window to see where you were going in your car because your windscreen was too dirty? Well, I haven’t obviously because I’m a decent upstanding citizen.

Anyway, so the driver comes out and asks if any of us want to get out of the train. We all say no and he looks very relieved. Unfortunately, he tells us, the doors aren’t working in our carriage because of a minor electrical problem. As if to emphasise his point as he’s talking to us somebody walks up to our carriage presses the button, the door opens an they get onboard. “Oh”, he says, and buggers off to wherever he came from.

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