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And the barman says, “Get out, we don’t serve your type in here”.

It was an innuendo?

Poke him in the eye.

They just ARRRRRR.

Because she keeps running away from the ball.

Bob’s a big hit with the ladies at the nursing home, because there are only a few men. Doris asks Bob out on a date.
Bob: I can’t go out on a date with you. I’m going out with Gloria.
Doris: Well, I can take you out another time.
Bob: I’d prefer to go out with Gloria.
Doris: Why?
Bob: Gloria will take me out to dinner.
Doris: I’d be happy to buy you dinner.
Bob: Gloria will take me to a movie afterwards.
Doris: I can take you to a movie.
Bob: Well, Gloria will hold my penis during the movie.
Doris thinks about this minute then says “I can do that too.”
Bob: I’d still rather go out with Gloria.
Doris asks frustrated, “What does Gloria got that I don’t?”
Bob: Parkinson’s

A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala
event, hosted by a local liberal arts college. There
was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.
She said, “Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”
“Negative, ma’am,” the Sergeant Major said,
“Just serious by nature.”
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”
The Sergeant Major’s short reply was,
“Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a
conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious
manner.
Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you
don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last
time you had sex?”
The Sergeant Major looked at her and replied, “1955.”
She said, “Well, there you are. You really need to
chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I
mean, no sex since 1955! Isn’t that a little extreme?”
The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in
his matter-of-fact voice, “You think so?
It’s only 2130 now.”

A man and a woman, who have never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were both tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 1:00 a.m., he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
“I have a better idea,” she replied sweetly. “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”
“Wow! That’s a great idea!!” he exclaimed.
“Good,” she replied. “Get your own blanket!” After a moment of silence, he farted.

An old cowboy sat down at the Star bucks and ordered a cup of coffee.
As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows,
going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring
calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding
my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.”
She said, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As
soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I
think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think
about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of
women.”
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy
and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?! ”
He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out that I’m a
lesbian.”

And the bartender shouts at him, “you can not bring that dog in here”.
The man says back, “hey this is my guide dog”.

And the bartender apologises profusely and even buys him a drink on the house.

A little while later another guy comes in with a Chihuahua, but before the guy gets to the bar the first guy spots him and says, “hey buddy the bartender won’t let you bring that dog in here unless you say it’s a guide dog”.

Sure enough when the new guy gets to the bar, the bartender says “you can not bring that dog in here”.
The man says, “but this is my guide dog”.
But the bartender is not having any of it, “They do not have Chihuahuas as guide dogs”.
But the guy, quick as a flash answers back, “What? They gave me a Chihuahua!”