Monthly Archives: August 2007

Tastes like Aass

A good Norwegian beer!

Even if it does taste like Aass

For more information see their site which contains the line: Aass Good Aass it gets


He sits on a train. He has slightly spikey gelled hair but when he leans forward to read his book you can see he’s beginning to thin on top. He’s reading to distract himself not just from all the people listening to music and jabbering away, he is reading to distract himself from his own head – from his own voice.

The train goes round a corner and squeaks in a rather alarming way. He looks up distracted for a second and even in that moment he hears his head say, “you’re worthless”. He puts his head back down and tries to focus on his book. But he’s lost his place and his eyes are wandering all over the page. The voice is getting louder and more cross while this is happening. It is simply, for once, just repeating the same phrase again and again. Once it used a word he didn’t even know, which made him feel really bad. He’d always wondered afterwards how that could be possible. But he still hadn’t quite brought himself to look it up, it might be too depressing.

Suddenly there was a hand on his knee, a woman’s hand. He followed the arm up and saw a beautiful face looking at him – really examining him. She looked into his eyes and he blinked.

“Sorry,” he said, “was I in the way?”
“You,” she paused and looked excited, “fascinate me”
“Me?” he resisted the urge to look over his shoulder.
“Yes you. Every day I see you and you never seem to see me. Every day you’re reading and when the train squeaks you look up, and then you always look so worried. I’ve started worrying about why you’re so worried.”
“I…” the words wouldn’t come, the voice started swearing at him in his head, but he ignored it and looked at her. He’d never really seen anyone as beautiful as her before in his life. Maybe in a magazine or a movie but she didn’t look fake she was breathing he could see that. She kept his gaze the whole time.

“You can tell me, I promise, and you don’t even know me yet”

It was the word “yet” that convinced him.

“I hear voices,” he said, “telling me that I’m useless. Telling me that I can’t do anything.”
“Well you can’t be useless. I think you’re brilliant.”

What had changed? Something. Something had changed. The voice had stopped. Was it because he’d admitted it or was it because of what she’d said?

“It’s stopped,” he said.
“Right then, now we can be friends.”

Sarah – Part 1

There was one tiny wisp of a grey cloud on a blue sky. The rest were all pure white and on the blue sky they seemed like they had tumbled out of a kind of airline or washing-powder commercial.

Sarah was lying face down on the grass, craning her neck up at them. She had a book in front of her but she was ignoring it. Every time she thought about reading it and looked down she had to adjust her eyes to the darkness. The brilliance of the sky was so different from the dull grey pages of her book. Why do the most interesting people insist on living in books she wondered? More to the point, why did they always seem to be in the most boring dullest old books that smelt of damp? Sarah slammed the book shut, picked it up and threw it into her rucksack.

She rolled over so she had her back on the grass and looked at the sky. It was blue all around her. She imagined for a second that she was floating in the sea and it felt glorious. She waved her arms through the lush long grass and felt how soft it was, the smell of fresh grass interfered with her vision partially but she over-rode it because she loved it so much. She lost herself while she swam a kind of upside down breast stroke through the grass. She opened her eyes again and saw the clouds above her. Her mind wondered what they were. What could they be floating in the sea? They must be icebergs she imagined and it made her physically shiver. She closed her eyes again but the moment was gone, she knew she was lying on a hill near her house. And that nothing, nothing ever happened within a thousand miles of her house.

“Um, excuse me?”

Sarah didn’t know what to do. A man had just addressed her. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do in this situation. She supposed she must first open her eyes. Perhaps. She put that thought on hold and decided that before she saw him the proper thing would be to adjust her hair. She didn’t want to be obviously doing it after she saw that he was beautiful – that would look desperate. She pushed her hand through her fringe, pulled herself up, so that she was in an L-shape and then adjusted the back of her hair. And then she opened her eyes and saw him.

[Tune in next Friday for Part 2 of 4]

Reedham Andweep

I think it’s about time to check back in with the train station Andweep which I renamed in a previous post (It’s all over for Smitham). The train station used to be called Smitham and Smitham is a place so small that nobody even lives there. In fact the train station is where the hamlet of Smitham used to be.

Anyway I’m pleased to announce that the non-existent townsfolk seem to have taken to the idea and the first wafts of the winds of change are beginning to be felt on the cheek of indifference. Wikipedia mentions the proposed change! It’s serious now. Even though in the very comment on Wikipedia seems to question the seriousness we must fight for this change. Progress is being made, I can feel it!