Of course the spider has probably eaten the ant and ants are in a hurry, male ants only last a few weeks*, spiders only last a few years.*** They don’t really have time for much existential angst. But being human, of course, I do. Growing up, I never considered myself a hedonist compared to my friends, but now, as I watch them grow up I wonder if I am actually closer to it than any of them. I always attempt to do the things that make me happiest, but then surely that’s what everyone does. Now I am starting to feel guilty for it, is this growing up?
Katherine and I discussed things before we decided to have a baby, we didn’t want to have to grow up, but we wanted to have a baby. Surely, having a baby meant having to grow up? All of a sudden you are responsible for somebody else, you can’t just carry on doing things just for you. Of course that part is true. But what we didn’t want was to ever be the kind of people who would say, “I couldn’t have my dreams because I had you”. What we needed to be sure of was that one of our dreams was for us to have a child.
And we chose that… There’s not a lot of time to choose things if you’re a male ant, maybe it’s not so great for ants.
*Queen ants can live up to thirty years, worker and soldier ants** one to three years.
**Workers and soldiers are females only.
***Tarantulas and other big-uns can live up to 25 years in captivity, but little garden and house spiders only last a few years.